Tuesday, June 24, 2014

June Crusade: Criminal, Like Jellybeans

Whoa! Is this already Plot Bunny #8?? Sufferin' cats, I never expected them to come this quickly! Ah... well.

Don't forget to stop by Anne-girl's blog to learn more about the June Crusade!

To be blunt, Criminal, Like Jellybeans was spurred on just yesterday as I was browsing Pinterest. Nice site, that. Tons of inspiration. But I digress... 

La inspiration:


Snippet first, just to make thing different.

“I'm sorry, 6-1-2,” was all the guard said before he shut me in. “But this is justice.”

The door slammed, echoing fiercely in the small, dark chamber. He hadn't bothered with the lights, and I was in no mood to flick them on. The detaining room was boring and cold, anyway; why would I want to view it? Most things looked better in the dark, where a thick blackness swallowed lies and secrets, hiding them away so that the day could never expose them. I knew.

I moved to the low cot and sat, pulling my knees up to my face. With my arms wrapped around my legs, the hard world seemed that much farther away. I was the master of myself, and as long as I knew that I was in control, everything would be fine.

But I wasn't in control. No, here at last, the master assassin, Agent 6-1-2, was done for; caught, locked up, and waiting for a life sentence that was sure to come within the next forty-eight hours. I'd been in jails and other courtrooms before, but that had always been in disguise, me acting as someone else, never myself. I'd always seen them from a different viewpoint, and now here I was – stuck behind the bars I'd so often gazed upon from the reverse side. After all those years of blood and deceit, Agent 6-1-2 was put away for good.

That's an optimistic attitude, I grumbled to myself. Agent 6-1-2 has pulled through greater obstacles. This one setback won't take her out forever... will it?

I groaned. You're talking about yourself in third person again, 6-1-2. Why can't you be just like normal people? Normal people refer to themselves as I and me.

With a sigh, I dropped my arms and allowed myself to fall onto my back on the narrow cot. “Who am I fooling?” If I'd landed in jail a few years ago, I'd have thrown myself into the guards, pounded them for all I was worth, snatch as many firearms as I could get my hands on, and do whatever it took to get out of there. But now... no, now I was a nobody. An agent, sure, but an agent no one cared about. One that was cheaper than a can of tuna at the grocery store.

The thought forced a rough laugh up my throat. The hardened criminal was now on the same level as dead fish.

“Some criminal,” I muttered.

“Like jellybeans?”

Agent 6-1-2 has spent her whole life running from her past, and now she's so different no one would ever recognize her. She's made a name for herself with her wits, her stealth, and her gun. No one would dare to call her anything other than a master assassin, and she enjoys what she'd call “little tasks” – assignments given by some of the world's top villains. It's an exciting life... until the master assassin gets caught. Agent 6-1-2 does not like jail. Nor does she approve of her new cell mate – a six year old girl named Alice.

Alice has spent her whole life locked behind the relentless iron bars. She doesn't know her crime, and no one seems able to explain it to her. No one in the world would stoop to befriend her, but Alice doesn't mind. Life could be worse, and the Chief is kind enough; who else would let her watch Disney movies, eat popcorn, and listen to musicals while in jail? At least, he does when he remembers she's still there.

The last thing Agent 6-1-2 wants to do is spend her life sentence locked in the same cell as Alice. And that's only before Alice shows her the portal to her imagination – a place where people break out into random songs, dragons plague the land, and candy is illegal. Agent 6-1-2 knew she was a criminal, but she never knew she was criminal like jellybeans.

And yes, Alice was named for that iconic character who travels to Wonderland. In a sense, this story is kinda based on that, too.

God bless! 


  1. AHHHHHH! Please write this!!! It seems so funny and cool!!!

    1. Thanks, Ashley!! I'm pretty excited to flesh this one out and see where it takes me! :)

  2. I am enthralled. This story sounds wonderful. Although, I agree--WHAT SHALL WE WRITE IN JULY????

    Thank you for inspiring me so much, m'dear. *Makes mental note to "inspire" Count Bob to write fine print in CBC contract*

    This story looks fabulous. I am rather interested, to say the least. Do write it out, please.

    1. Ah! July! Well, we've got 5 days to figure it out. Though, I should probably just stick with editing SotHT. All my plot bunnies have shamefully kept me from my editing work. *sheepish grin*

  3. This looks so adorable! (In the best way:D) And HOW ON EARTH DO YOU MAKE SUCH EPIC COLLAGES?!

    Ahem, speaking of which, do you have any advice for creating a neat and tidy blog header??

    Anyway, this looks great!

    1. Aw, thanks, Arwen!! :)

      Hmmm... advice on headers and collages... well, I don't consider myself an expert, but let's see... *coughs* Keep it simple. Less is more. If you stick too many pictures into a collage, it'll bug people's eyes out. Try to keep your pictures relatively the same color/complementing colors, so all the pics tie in together. You don't always have to have everything exactly proportional (i.e. five pictures by five pictures). Have fun with it and be creative! Does that help?

  4. AAAAHHHHHH! KIRI. This. Story. Needs. To. Exist. PLEASE?!?! *puppy dog eyes* I NEED it! Like...wow. This looks so amazing and so DIFFERENT from anything I can think of. I just...sldkjfsjd;orjedf. THIS LOOKS AMAZING.

    I was wondering if Alice was based off THE Alice and just... * more incoherent screaming* My obsession with all things Wonderland goes a bit beyond the healthy level so...yes! I WANT THIS WRITTEN. And the cover is amazing! The crown and the gun and sldjfoasjd;jfdsf. It's all so awesome! Sorry, okay, I should probably calm down. I just want this written so badly. Your brain is amazing. I think you should know that.

    And yes, I did just come over here and comment on everything. I've gotten woefully behind on blog posts and then I come over here and see all this amazingness and I just HAD to tell you how much I loved it all. Wow, so many fabulous ideas. o.o I'm sorry, Kiri, but you're just going to have to become a superhero that can write a book a day. *nods* It's the only solution. Because I NEED all these books to exist.

    1. Lauri, can I just say I love your comments? You always know just how to make me smile. :D And I don't care that you left them all at once. I was soo happy to log in this morning and see all those comments awaiting my moderation.

      I didn't even think about basing this off Alice until I was a decent ways into planning. I know!! Wonderland!! :D I'm probably not going to do a strict-based-on-Wonderland deal, but Alice's adventures (and all things curious and nonsensical) were definitely inspirational. I'm not even sure what genre this book would fall into. I'm thinking a master assassin gets stuck in a six-year-old's dreams/imaginations.

      A book a day?? Gracious, m'dear! I'd love to have that superpower, but I'm afraid that you would find me utterly lacking! I'll do my best, though! ;)